Ethical to date a customer's daughter?

S

Scottwax

New member
Well?



I have a regular customer (well, not so regular since he and his 2nd wife got divorced) and his kids from his first wife are well into adulthood. I had met his son and younger daughter (from wife #1) but not the older daughter until today.



I go out to wash his Charger and detail the interior and wash the outside of his daughter's Tribute. Long story short, after he introduced me to his daughter, we seemed to hit it off very well. So well in fact, her Dad had to come down and tell her to stop distracting me so I could finish the Charger. We talked again while I was finishing up her Tribute too.



2 problems though...



1. She is the daughter of a customer

2. She smokes. She doesn't appear to be a heavy smoker but still...



Maybe a 3rd problem? I am 44 and she is 27. Oddly enough, her Dad is 53 and the girl he was with today is younger than his daughter. Not sure if that would make this girl more likely to not be bothered by the age difference or maybe bothered a great deal more.



Anyway, her Dad gave me her number (it was so I could call her when it got too dark to work outside and needed to move her SUV and my car into the lighted parking garage) and she does know I have it-maybe since she is new to the area (she'd been living in Florida) I could offer to show her around town?
 
That's a pretty big age difference. People pooh-pooh that but I think it can be significant in a number of ways, not saying it has to be, but it requires some thinking. The smoking...that can certainly be a deal breaker. There are plenty of people that age that stop and don't go back...but plenty that start up again after quitting for a while. As far as the customer thing, I don't think you make a habit of doing that, and it's not unethical like it would be for some professions, but if you are prepared to lose the customer if things go badly, and can accept that, I would give it a shot.
 
no sweat at all -- if you have chemistry, then go for it.



I'm 36 and my girlfriend is 21. Her dad is 20 yrs older than her mom (her dad's 2nd marriage, her mom's 1st and only marriage).



And my 21 yr old gf IS the daughter of a customer -- I did surgery on her dad a year before I started dating her.



And she's the coolest and nicest person I've dated in the last 3 years



GO FOR IT !
 
Scott



I say if you do decide to ask her to to go out and she accepts....and something brews from it..go for it....you both are adults....and can make decisions...as far as what anybody else thinks...who cares...have to take care of your self first and not worry about others





I say test the waters....if it is fine..jump in...if cold.. back out..



Good Luck champ



AL
 
1. Age difference is no problem to me....at your ages that is. When you're talking about younger people (under21 with over 21) it makes a bit of a difference.



2. The smoking thing is completely your call and preference. I for one, would leave my wife if she were to take on smoking...I simply hate it that much.



3. The daughter of a customer thing all depends on if you can afford to lose the customer. If things ended sourly, then you'd probably be out the father's business, but not for sure. You're both consenting adults, her father shouldn't play a role.
 
I would say go for it. If there is some type of attraction between the two of you than at least give it a chance. Heck it can't hurt to go our for some drinks or maybe dinner.



Good luck... :2thumbs:
 
I have been on my own for five years now, and I have been very, very cautious about who I dated. To me, it just made sense to be that way.



However, I have been seeing a woman who I have known for over two decades. She got divorced at the same time I did, and after we each got over divorce issues, we kind of bumped into each other. She is a fantastic woman, and we have a nice, balanced, sensible, enjoyable relationship. I don't know where it will end, though neither of us are pushing the issue.



The kicker to this is that she is my landlady! She's a successful realtor in my town, and she owned one of the few apartments I was interested in renting.



Yes, I still pay my rent. That's only fair. I guess what I am trying to say is that what you are thinking of is workable.



It depends on how you go about it, and the makeup of the people involved. I think that if you go about it in that fashion, you will get your answer in the long run.



Best of luck!
 
As a step-father of a 27 year old, I would be against her going out with a 44 year old guy. I tried to teach my step children not to date anyone that they couldn't see spending the rest of their life with - of course, that hasn't happened... :o



More on the age thing - you've had a lot of different life experiences than she has - that could be an issue down the road. My wife was married to someone 21 years her senior and it caused issues being from different generations.



Now, if I were a single 44 year old guy and an attractive 27 year old girl was showing interest in me, I think I would ask her to dinner and see how things go.



Good luck!
 
Just don't do like I did and get someone that is a backstabber, there was warning signs in front of my face but... I ended up losing my house and costing me 5Gs in lawyer fees in which I had to sue her &$# for 50 thousand Gs. I was homeless for a while, good to have friends.

Anyway be honest, give it time, go slow at first, there is plenty of fish in the sea.
 
Here's my take:



I *would* be prepared to lose the business *if* things go bad.



I would not call her using the number that her Dad gave you. That automatically gives her the upperhand, I would try to work a way around that. Try to say something along the lines of "have you been to (place X) yet? My friends and I go there quite a bit." Obviously being new to town she hasn't, use that to your advantage with "you should stop by Saturday, my friends and I will be there." If she is interested the conversation and idea of you two meeting up *will* happen. There are a million ways to go about, but I would not call her with only her Dad giving you the number.



Just my take, good luck--well, luck is never a factor if you have confidence in your pimpin. :)
 
Over 21, age is just a number, IMO...and does not denote a certain maturity level.





The big thing is that you "clicked". My girlfriend and I, when we met, were totally not looking for anything other than a hookup. Now, almost 3 years down the road, we don't know how we didn't meet sooner.



I would say "go for it", no question.



About the smoking thing, deal with it for now. Yes, you have to like her for her, but you don't know the story behind it. Who knows, maybe she has just cut back and is trying to quit! Minor detail, IMO, unless you are allergic.
 
1 Clean WS6 said:
get u sum ;)



Oh....



:showpics



:D
Click to expand...



Uh yeah, like that is going to happen! Besides, if I did you guys would keep coming back to this thread to look at the pics and never get any work done. I just couldn't do that to y'all. ;) She is seriously good looking. :eek:



Really, the main issue for me right now is the smoking. Like I said, she doesn't appear to be a chain smoker and she seems aware I don't smoke because the second and third time we got to talking, she didn't light up at all.



My kids know her younger sister and thought I should have gone out with her when her boyfriend left her so I know they don't care about how old the women I date are.
 
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